1 Month Picture

No idea how much this kid weighs, but he's growing plenty. Here's his one month picture:

And the comparison to Kate:

He's formed his own rhythm. We are doing "bedtime" around 7pm when we put Kate down. He's waking at 11pm, 3am, and 7am (give or take a half hour) to eat. I am loving the 4 hour spread, but unfortunately feeding and burping (a la Kate) take about an hour, and then sometimes it takes a bit longer to get him back to sleep. But, I'll take it.

Our nanny comes by on Monday and Tuesday to get used to him, and the house, and us, and so Kate can meet her and get a little used to her. Kate mostly won't be around when she is here but there might be the occassional time that I can't get out in time to drop Kate off at school in which case the nanny will take her. This is also the week that I start back teaching my meditation group, so we'll slowly start getting used to me being out of the house. Next week I start back at work in full, and the following week Daddy P and I are both back. So, the next three weeks will have a lot of change and adjustment for us... I hope it all goes well, but I am nervous just about the unknown... I started pumping today just to get used to it. We will see how the week goes!

My Birthday

I have had a stupendous birthday so far.  Other than waking up a lot to feed a little one... when my daughter woke at 6am this morning and barged into our room (damn that whole lack of sleep begets lack of sleep) Daddy P took her back to bed so I could get an extra hour of blessed sleep.  Yay!

When they came to woke me up the sweet smell of chocolate cake was in the air!  I was informed that Daddy P held Jacob the entire time so Kate made the cake herself.  That explained the completely empty container of vanilla extract in the sink that was a previous full bottle of vanilla extract.  (I guess we have a future vodka lover on our hands...)  Yay cake!

I was sung happy birthday in my room as I got dressed.  Yay!

I got flowers first thing this morning from my sweet sweet sister and flower-expert brother in law. Yay!  So, this one is a little funny.  I was getting dressed and Daddy P had Jacob and heard Kate in the den saying "Who's that man??"  Apparently she was the only one who heard the knock on the door and was standing at the front window to see who was there.

We walked over to eat breakfast at my favorite breakfast place.  Yay!  

And Daddy P gave me the best present of all:  permission to drink coffee.  I got to sit at my favorite breakfast place and sip coffee.  It was awesome.  Yay!

And, this might sound really really silly... but, I got to tidy up.  Daddy P held the kid while I tidied and did things I hadn't been able to do while watching a baby.  Sad, but true.  Yay?  :)

3 1/2 weeks: the plagues

Kate has been sick with the stomach flu and the doctor charged us with the fun task of keeping the kids apart. Meanwhile baby Jacob vacillates between sleeping well at night and sleeping well during the day. Last night I managed around three hours sleep.  Oh, crying has begun. More later.

Baby Toddler Update

Baby:  have an appointment with a lactation consultant on Tuesday.  Hopefully that will help us to figure out this whole screaming thing.

Toddler:  bought Jane Nelson's toddler book.  I have her general "Positive Discipline" book and love it but we felt we needed more specific toddler aged help... spurred by her behavior today including hitting me, throwing Daddy P's phone, and knocking over a table.

Two days of pain, screaming, and tantruming.  I am hoping tomorrow goes better.  My goal for this week is to take a nap a day.  Last week I didn't get any naps in at all due to Daddy P spending time working, and then generally fussiness of baby, and it's really showing.  I'm totally beat.

Hm, what else...

Oh, baby is now in his own crib.  Last night was the first night.  We bought another camera so now we have a motion camera in each bedroom and the monitor switches between them every 8 seconds.  Love it.  Can see if the toddler is still in bed and if the baby is breathing.  :)

Ah and my toddler news includes Kate running away in the parking lot today and opening the front door and bolting.  Yes, I am officially scared.  Just is so hard watching her struggle so much with this adjustment.  I know it will all work itself out but for now it's taking its toll on everyone... at least she loves her brother (although Daddy P and I are in the doghouse).  She still wants to rock him, bathe him, and tonight asked to cuddle with him in bed before going to sleep, so she's not holding him responsible for her lack of attention which makes me really happy and relieved.  I would, however, appreciate it if she held Daddy P more responsible so that I am not the only one getting hit and kicked...

Daddy's New Job

We drove to Belton on Thursday to check out the University and see where Daddy P would be working.  Kate was really excited to see "his school" but confused because she expected the students to be smaller than they were.  As a small miracle, Jacob actually slept in the car going and coming.  This might not seem like a big deal, but as a nice contrast, he cried and fussed today until about 3:30pm and has cried on every car trip until yesterday.  We were very lucky.  It would have been a long drive (an hour) with a screaming infant...

The town itself isn't much -- if you have ever driven through Texas than you can put it together in your mind.  It's very much like any other small Texas town:  lots of houses with tires and trash in the yard, lots of fast food and bbq joints, a lot of folks who look like they live somewhere with lots of fast food an bbq joints.  This is mostly relevant because I'd started to cobble together this little fantasy of moving to Belton, but in my mind (and telling of my fantasy to Daddy P) the town looked more like small town Connecticut, or small town Vermont.  It was probably a good reality check.

But, everyone we met at Daddy P's work was very friendly and open and kind.  I'm a little curious to see where they live.  I know some live in Salado (a town fifteen minutes south that is teeny and just a road lined with galleries and antique stores, hailed as an "art town") and one guy lives in the suburbs of Austin. 

He starts his new job in mid-August, and it will be a big adjustment.  Right now we are very used to having him home to play (wait, to "play") with us.  I depend on him heavily to help watch Kate and juggle life right now so it will be interesting to see how things go in less than a month!

You put what, where?!

Kate has now practiced breastfeeding a stuffed horse. It seemed to go well. She declared, "horsey drinks milk from my nipples."

But, she must have needed to go to work because when Paul walked into the room she asked him to hold her shirt up and then held up two empty bottles to her nipples. Perhaps in the future I should pump in private.

Here we go again?

We are going on 48 hours of fussiness and struggling.  Back arching, screaming, crying out of the middle of sleep, fussiness.  This is too familiar.

So, as I have done before, I am going dairy-free starting this week.  Kate seemed to be allergic to cow's milk protein (and soy...) and so that is going to be our first try.  Ah the fun.  In a few weeks we'll know if it helped.

2 Week Picture

Last week I forgot to update his stats: at 1 week old he weighed 9 lbs 7 oz (2 oz away from birthweight). He's a big eater. :)

We're trucking along. Kate's jealousy seems to have peaked, or we are handling it better. We've instituted a "TV or ebook during nursing" deal which is helping hugely for me to manage the both of them and be partially tied down. She's watching a combo of Dora, Curious George, and So You Think You Can Dance (although, we usually skip to only the dance numbers which makes the show only take about 10 minutes total!). Her favorites seem to almost always be the girl dancers and she complains if there is "no singer" (aka instrumental music). She's decided she'll be a dancer and we can go and watch her (which is significantly different from when we let her watch a few of the singers on The Voice at which point she decided she wants to be "one of them," meaning the judges so she can "watch the singers and talk to them.").

Jacob is... well, we're learning to know each other. He nurses about every two hours during the day, and then starting at 7pm he nurses unhappily until 11pm. Then he finally sleeps for 3.5 - 4 hours, eats, and sleeps another 3.5-4 hours. I really can't complain because of that last part. However, the way we've been divying it up, Daddy P burps him starting at 7pm which means he's been dealing with the fussiness for those last few hours, and then I wake up and take over and Daddy P gets the ear plugs. With Kate, when she was older, we forced her on this schedule. We'd wake her up at 11pm every night (Daddy P got home from work then when Kate was little so it worked out well), and then she'd wake around 2:30am and again around 5:30am. Then as time passed she dropped the 2:30am feeding, and then eventually dropped the 11pm feeding. It was awesome and worked perfectly, so I'm hoping that Jacob is already going down that path. Of course, Kate would sleep from 8:30 - 11pm and Jacob hasn't gotten that part figured out yet, but how can I complain?

Overall, this is going really well. Having Daddy P home has made this manageable. I get a 2 hour nap in almost every day because of him, and that has made me capable of being playful and attentive to Kate. I don't know how SAHMs do it without daycare. I wouldn't be able to survive. Or, maybe the kids wouldn't be able to. It would be bad, we'll just say that.

I start back with a few clients next week. I only have about 4 weekly clients right now, and then the two groups I teach meditation to. So, it's a really slow time which is perfect. We'll have to try out a bottle this weekend to prep for it. But if that doesn't work Daddy P is just going to bring Jacob down to work with me and I'll nurse before my clients. I only have max two a day so it should be workable either way. Then I take two more weeks off and then start back. My mind is so not in it. I'm having a hard time imagining going back, but it will be good to get me out and have something to think about other than the nursing schedule.

Brother and Sister

Kate (top) at 5 weeks and Jacob at 2 weeks

Rocking Chair, you aren't my bed

Last night sucked.

Daddy P was my saving grace and managed the baby until around 3am.   He'd bring him in to eat, and then bounce him, rock him, shush him until the next feeding.  At 3am, I took over and gave up.  Nothing I was doing was working and I was exhausted so I grabbed a blanket for me, and took up residence in the rocking chair.  Thank goodness we bought a recliner!  Lying on me finally got him to relax and fall asleep, and allowed me to nap.  He was still uncomfortable and would startle, wake, cry and resettle, but it was much easier than getting out of bed to pick him up everytime this happened.  I don't sleep particularly well this way because a) it's a rocking chair, even if it does recline, and b) I am so worried about smothering him or dropping him that I sleep very lightly.

But, since it is midnight and he is only now asleep (since starting this adventure at 8pm) it may be another rocking chair night.  I'm going to give it to good tries to get him lying in his cradle on his back, and if that doesn't work I am returning to my chair of residence.

My doula came for my post-partum visit today and it felt good to report things were going well.  Other than Kate's jealousy, I feel as though we are doing pretty good.  Somehow the not-sleeping feels much more manageable than it did with Kate.  I'm not sure what the magical difference is, but my mood is much better this time around and I am managing everything much better.  I think a big part of it is the learning curve:  knowing not only how to do things already (nurse, burp, soothe), but also having more realistic expectations (not trying to keep a clean house, not trying to do much of anything really), and of course there's the fact that I am already very mobile and can drive and all that good stuff (yayyyyy VBAC!).

Alright, off to try to lay this guy down without waking him up.  Whoever decided babies have to sleep on their backs is just evil.

A Kate Story

Kate has recently wanted to be told stories when the lights are out and before we leave the room.  Daddy P has a series of "Froggy Stories" that consist of Froggy going out somewhere (the pool, a farm, etc.) and then coming home and feeling really tired so he has to go to bed.

Well, apparently, the other night he told Kate a Froggy Story but left off the ending.  She then requested that he "talk about what happens when Froggy gets home."  Daddy P said that Froggy's momma lies in bed with him to help him fall asleep.

"Does the Mommy read stories to Froggy?" Kate asked.
"Yep, two books," said Daddy P.
"Does the Mommy tell Froggy stories about Kate?" she asked

At which point, our minds were blown in the paradox...

And... we're done.

Honeymoon period is over.

Props to all you who are home all day with a newborn and a toddler.  I, personally, praise our bank account for allowing me to continue sending Kate to school.

That's right, folks, we're in full-fledged jealousy mode.

This weekend my 2.5 year old, who formally boasted of being a "big girl," wanted to ride in the baby's infant carrier/stroller, crawl, put on a diaper, and lay on the floor and cry.  I have seen more tantrums this weekend than in her entire life combined.  It's exhausting.  Our tactic currently is to provide her as much one on one attention as is reasonable, ignoring baby-like and tantrum behavior and giving her mad props for anything we want to ever see her do again.

Nursing times have been the roughest, with her becoming very physically aggressive when I am nursing the baby and Daddy P isn't around.  In fact, even when he is around she often seeks me out and wants to be in the room, but is upset when I don't give her attention.

Add on top of that a day of baby spitting up 3-5x after each feeding and peeing all over all the time (i.e. literally 7 outfits today) and we have the end of the weekend.

He's finally konked out on the couch but since he's due to be up in a half hour to eat I am just waiting rather than trying to sleep...

I think it's been a little rough just because she's had constant change for the past 9 days.  Tomorrow should begin the start of some normalcy: morning time at home, school, then home, dinner at home with family, sleep, begin again... Hopefully that will reset her system and help somewhat.  Luckily she hasn't taken any of this out on the baby, just on me.  I've been hit and kicked and shoved a lot lately, and having to manage her aggression is a new one for us, but she hasn't done any of that to the baby, so I'm counting us lucky in that regard.

Outside Water Play

Now that I am not pregnant, being outside doesn't make me feel like passing out! So while the boys sleep Kate and I are playing outside and getting some special mom and Kate time.

One week one day

Not a big help with chores yet though...just in dirtying laundry...

Please don't call cps

Yes yes. He's on his stomach. That's because I was up all might with a baby who would not lie on his back. At his newborn check the doctor guessed it was pain from his circumcision. This is payback for inflicting cosmetic surgery on our newborn.  Doc was hopeful we will sleep again in a few days when he has healed....

Magic Poop Maker

Kate has been pooped on twice today out of the two baby pops that have occurred. The first time she handled it fine once she was assured the baby had a diaper on. The second time she was startled and shifted quickly, causing Jacob to shift from her lap to the couch. Later when we took away the baby she said, "I didn't like that." Fully expecting her to complain about being popped on (who would want that?) I was really surprised when she instead said "i didn't like how I made him drop." Such a sweet big sister! Already worried about the kid brother.

4 Days Old

Home Sweet Home

Cuddled up on daddy.  Starting to settle in at home. Glad to be here and back into a routine. Kate has been great. We walked in and she started "showing" baby brother things: how to put a puzzle together, how to use the cash register...it was super cute.

Birth Story

We were lucky enough to have a truly awesome doula, Ame, who in large part made this birth possible.  Between our doula, Ame, and our midwife, Lianne, we were totally supported.  Ame wrote up our birth story and it was really fun to read the "real" version of what happened.  My version is, well, skewed and I think took place in another reality.  :)  Daddy P has also been fun to talk to about it because our versions are similar but different, and listening to him talk about the birth fills in a lot of the gaps that I missed.

Ame's version can be found here.

blogger down

or should i say, blogger's brain is down.

man, in three years have i ever repeated a picture?  my apologies, readers.  better coverage will resume tomorrow when i have my electronic cords and attachments at my disposal and am not relying on my phone to blog.  :)

Going Home

After an excruciating night, we have gotten cleared to leave this afternoon unless something changes. We learned that a) Jacob currently wants to eat for thirty minutes every hour or hour and a half, and b) he won't sleep in the crib with the crazy bilirubin lights on him.  He would sleep on us, which just wasn't working for anyone. Finally I put him in the carseat and he slept if I padded around him well. Of course, this is around 5am and he and I are both finally sleeping. Daddy P tells me this morning that the nurse came in and told him that wasn't safe and we needed to take him out so he wouldn't fall out. Thank you, Daddy P, for fighting for our sleep and chasing her away.

Got a few hours sleep and feel human. We are so excited to get to go home and start real life...can't wait!

Bilirubin strikes again!

Jacob's bilirubin crept up overnight. It's still quite low, but the doc doesn't want to send him home because its a long weekend and he won't get checked again until Tuesday.  So, he has ultraviolet lights under his clothing to get his levels down. Daddy P thinks there is a market for skylights here...

Kate came by and was clearly confused by it all. I was also breastfeeding at the time so she was very curious to figure out what was going on. She will spend another night with her nana and papa and hopefully tomorrow we will all be back home again. Paul and I miss her so much.  I thought briefly about letting him sleep at home but he has been way too helpful at night to get away...