Waiting, compared

There's the waiting for the c-section:  you can't eat, the doctor's late for an emergency so you still can't eat.  I took tons of silly videos and movies of Daddy P dressed up in his silly gown.  We watched TV, we hung out.  It was boring, and I was hungry, but hey, we were getting a baby out of it.

There's the waiting for the induction:  according to websites which I never should have read it is a combination of getting your membranes stripped and then having a ton of pressure put on your cervix.  Most women who took the time to blog (a biased sample, I would like to think) said it is very painful.  Indeed, my midwife rescheduled the appointment so that it would be as late in the day as they could make it.  Not a good sign.  I may not get a baby out of it, but will get to go to the hospital in the morning to have my water broken, which may not produce a baby either.  It's a really weird different type of waiting.  "Waiting for pain" is I think a good way to capture it.  Now, the c-section was plenty painful, but that was pain for the week, and it was dull and I got to take a lot of medication to make it hurt less.  This feels... well, a little masochistic.

BUT, fear-pain cycle, right?  Chill out, nothing to fear... fear leads to pain which leads to fear which leads to more pain... I was just preaching to a client last week about the fear-pain cycle and teaching her relaxation exercises, so healer heal thyself.  (That may only apply to MDs though, because really is there any chance of any head doctor healing themselves?)

So, in my last moments... what am I doing?

(other than blogging?)  Watching streaming TV on netflix.  Making last minute emails to my clients that I haven't seen in a week.  Folding laundry.  Packing a "farmer's market" bag so my folks can do my weekly Wednesday ritual with Kate, my cherished mom and Kate time.  Trying to get some food in me in case I don't feel like eating later.  Putting some movies on the laptop in case I am at the hospital a long ass time tomorrow after they break my water and before anything starts to happen.

Overall I feel... ready and eager.  I've been having killer braxton hicks contractions all day so my uterus seems eager, too.  I'm hoping that's a good sign.  Hopefully Daddy P's getting geared up for his role in my relaxation exercises to come.  :)  I had a dream last night he was missing (and presumed dead) so I hope that isn't an indication of his role in my relaxation to come. 

Huh.

Alright, well, forty minutes to go...!