6 months old!

My beautiful kid is 6 months old. Six months ago, after waiting for two long weeks for this kid to come out, we forced him out. With a little nudge he came out in three hours. That really does describe him well. Stubborn, but if you set a limit, he complies fairly quickly.

Take our trip. We were all sleeping in one room in Florida, so we decided to just nurse him when he woke so Kate could get good sleep. When we left home he was going to bed at 8pm, waking at 11pm to nurse, then again at 5am, and then sleeping until 7:30am. By the end of the trip, he was waking every 1.25 hours to nurse. I kid you not. The last two nights I hardly slept. We come home, and after two nights of letting him cry, he's back to sleeping through the night. Last night he woke at 3am and cried for 15 minutes before falling asleep, but otherwise he slept from 8pm to 5am. Much much better.

On top of that change, we are in the midst of other big changes. We fired our nanny before break and hired a new one. Our new nanny, a 26 year old music teacher at a nearby Elementary school, started yesterday. Because of her schedule and because I was fried from my hectic work schedule, I will now only work TThF and some Saturdays. Which means, Mondays and Wednesdays I have for me and Jacob. This feels like the most amazing relief and blessing right now. Time to go to the store, go for a run, wash clothes, play with him, enjoy him.... I'm really thrilled. Before break my schedule had devolved into something like work Monday 4-8, then Tuesday morning, then home, then Tuesday night, then Wednesday morning, then Thursday morning, and Thursday night, then Friday from noon on, then Saturday... Yep, Sunday was my only day off. It wasn't smart. It just kinda happened.

We'll give this a shot. I'm nervous. Making enough money to cover my overhead and daycare in those 2 1/2 days might not be reasonable. We are trying it for two months and then we'll decide what to do. But I've been in mourning over this being my last baby so I need to do it.

No one warned me about that. How hard it hit me that this could be the end. That it likely will be. That I will never carry a baby in me again. Or nurse a baby after Jacob. There haven't been many "ends" in my life yet. Things that I know I will never do again, but this one hit me hard. It feels like facing my mortality and time in a very direct way. Ah well. I can always surrogate. ;)

Studying a small piece of something...