20 Weeks

I am not sure exactly what it is. First time around I was trying to look pregnant. Wearing tighter tops, showing off the bump. This time around I am very aware of how huge I feel and stretched and cumbersome. I think some of it is that I miss my excercise routine. I ran for 6 minutes yesterday and that was all I could manage. I really hate treadmills, and swimming, and all those other things people suggest I do... so for now it is yoga and walking for me. Unfortunately, my back is so messed up right now even yoga can be rough, so I'm just trying to take it easy and be kind to body and baby. I've gained about 25 lbs. at this point which puts me at about the same weight I was at this time with Kate. It's a lot harder to find time to go for walks than it was the first time around though. I'd rather spend my evenings with Kate and Daddy P than working out, and I'd rather sleep in these last few precious months rather than get up and work out. I was getting up to do yoga in the morning pretty consistently before cedar fever hit. I'm hoping once it's over I can go back to it. In the meantime I hardly sleep so sleeping later is all I've got.

Also having a lot of nightmares this time around. I don't recall that with Kate. But once or twice a week Daddy P has to wake me up because I'm crying or yelling in my sleep. Many of my dreams are about miscarrying, but some of them are just general awfulness. I'm hoping they stop soon. I thought they'd stop after the 20 week ultrasound when all was okay, but they haven't.

Kate talks about the "baby in mommy's tummy" a lot. Sometimes she says she has a "horsey" in her tummy, other times she asks Daddy P if he has a baby in his tummy. She likes touching my belly and kissing it. I can't wait until she can feel the baby kick. I'm so curious to see what her response is.

I'm starting to realize that I need to slow down at work some soon. I think come March I'll stop taking new clients and start talking to my current clients to prepare them for my time off. I was off 9 months with Kate so wrapping my head around 6 weeks (and starting to see clients after 3 for the critical ones) is a little hard to get used to. Luckily, Daddy P is covered by New Jersey's paternity laws and gets 6 weeks half pay leave which will help hugely. We're planning on keeping Kate in daycare for her sake throughout the whole thing. She loves that place and the consistency will help her adjust I think.