Just say "hi"

There are so many little adjustments you have to make to life with a kiddo. Obvious, right? But the marital adjustments I think can sometimes get pushed aside because of all the focus on the new addition and negotiating life. I was talking to a friend a while back about how those first few months just slowly eat away at your soul. Okay, well, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration... well, maybe not. Regardless.

One of the things I found myself doing all the time was this: Daddy P comes home from work, I've been home with the baby all day, I literally shove baby Kate in his arms, rattle off a list of things that have happened or need to happen and then fade away to do something I've been waiting all day to do.

One of the hardest things, my friend and I agreed, was to remind yourself that when that loving partner walks in the door, what you really need to do is "just say 'hi'"... Those last few hours before the honey comes home for the stay-at-home mom are the most important hours of the day. They are the hardest, the longest, and man if that person is late walking in the door, forget it. It was really easy to fall into a pattern of a no-hello hand off as soon as the lock turned. Even though I'm not a full time stay-at-home anymore some days I still have to resist fleeing the room.

It's that buffer time after work that is really tough for me. Even when I'm the one coming home. I'm the type of person that has to shed my work before I can enter our evening routine. When I walk in the door I have to first put my shoes on the rack, put my work bag away, and hang my purse where it goes before I can think of kisses and greetings. I think it has something to do with the symbolism of putting all my work away, and not letting my clients' problems enter the house and my home life.

Babies don't get that. They don't understand that need, and my baby at least wants immediate greetings and love. That's fair. When I walk in (or Daddy P walks in) she immediately crawls to us full speed and raises her arms to get picked up. I mean, I don't want to send the message "putting things away in an orderly manner is more important than you"... but it's been hard. Yesterday I did it. I dumped everything by the door in a huge heap (against all sensibilities) and scooped that baby up and gave my family hugs and kisses. Then, of course, I put everything away.

So my mantra for being on both sides of the door is now, "just say 'hi'"... I think that is a big step to a healthy happy family.